This was an article I had penned for Women’s Day. Unfortunately it did not get to see light of day! Even though five months too late, I believe the article is still significant. I hope every woman reading this, DOES enough to make herself matter!

MAKE YOURSELF MATTER

It’s that time of the year when Spring, the season which heralds the end of winter and the beginning of sunnier climes, the season when trees begin to grow leaves and bloom with flowers - is here. It’s also the time that reminds many women to celebrate themselves and blossom as well. 8th March – Women’s Day – will proclaim that the woman of today is reborn to take on the might of the world. Some will drink to the occasion and let loose their hair, partying until the wee hours of the morning in their new found ‘liberation’. Others will raise a toast to their emancipation and the rest will smell their coffee believing that their plight has altered. However, that fervor will gradually wither away shriveling the woman back to her original ‘self’ as the week gets left behind.

Why is it that it takes a mere date on the calendar to make a difference? Why is the woman not able to make herself be of importance every day and instead singles out an inconsequential date to commemorate herself? Ah, the pundits of Freud would state, ‘she’s been conditioned to think she’s insignificant, what else can she do but live her conditioning?’ Others will surmise, ‘it’s her fault, she prefers suffering her wretchedness.’ Many will believe ‘it’s her childhood experience of neglect and being passed over for males that is at the basis of her discounting herself.’ Points of view will be exchanged but the likelihood of anything changing will be negligible and things will remain in a status quo until the next year dawns and its time to remember the ‘woman’ once again.

So what is it, then? Conditioning? Childhood experiences? Or simply the fact that it’s easier to pass on the responsibility for our fate to our parents, society and the world at large. Justifications make our lives so much simpler. Alibis are such great defenses against accountability. Perhaps we were born underprivileged and life handed us a raw deal. Maybe forces worked in ways that kept us downtrodden and subjugated. But have we done anything to alter our outlook about our plight? Have we for a moment thought differently about ourselves to make a change for us? Have we mattered enough to ourselves to slant the winds in our favor? Alas, unfortunately, no. We continue to live our destiny, suffer our fate and bewail the idea ‘we were made for this only!’

Exercising options and thinking differently is possible only if, in the first place, women believe that they want to make a choice. That in spite of the difficult circumstances, the unsupportive systems, the obstructions and the obstacles, they want better. That they matter, they count, they are precious – at least to themselves, if not to anyone else.

Do we trust that we deserve the good life? That happiness is our right? And that we have an equal entitlement for contentment, pleasure and the good things? Do we give ourselves the permission to be human – which means allowing us to be error making, and not trying to be super-heroines. Unapologetically accepting of our limitations rather than feigning a ‘bring-it-on-since-we-never-tire’ kind of an attitude? Regrettably, not too many believe and subscribe to the above.

Woman, you are your worst enemy! Instead of blaming society, culture, our family or upbringing let’s take responsibility for what we have largely made ourselves today. Lets turn the spotlight inward, on our inherent self-limiting and handcuffing beliefs, ideologies and views. Lets put them to test, challenge and uproot our self-imposed chains and break free. For our freedom and liberation can only come from us. Others don’t have the time or the care to look after our interests and if we are to wait for the ‘system’ or the ‘culture’ to change, we may just be left waiting. Why not instead take up cudgels and get into the process of becoming our best friends. Tussle with and oust ideas that have bondaged us to become self-sacrificing and thus self-defeating. Let’s start by mattering enough to ourselves because nothing is more important than a significant us!